Shave and a haircut? Needed.
So, the Bear Joke: this guy goes to the Anchorage Zoo, because he hears they've just captured Alaska's Most Ferocious Bear and he simply must see this bear for himself. When he gets to the bear display, he sees a huge crowd of people hanging around, looking down into the pit where the bear is kept. He looks in.
And sees the bear just sitting there, licking his balls.
The bear does this for about a half hour - no growling, no roaring, no gnashing of the teeth, just borderline auto-fellatio.
Finally the guy walks over to the zookeeper. "Hey", he says. "I heard that this was Alaska's Most Ferocious Bear! He doesn't look that ferocious to me." The zookeeper says, "Believe me, this bear is a stone cold killer." The bear keeps on licking his balls. "Really", says the guy. "Yep", says the zookeeper. "Why, about an hour before you got her, someone fell into the bear pit and that bear right there ate that person right up." "This bear? Then why's he just sitting there licking his nuts?" "Well", says the zookeeper. "The person that fell in? Was Sarah Palin. That poor sumbitch is STILL trying to get the taste out of his mouth."
