40/40

Today I turn 40. I will be celebrating my 40th birthday by reading the eulogy at my grandmother's funeral. I had a few notions as to how my 40th birthday - the actual day - was going to go down. This was not one of them. You would think that I'd be depressed over this. I'm not. It's a wholly unexpected gift; for my birthday, I get to do something that matters, to pay tribute to someone who shaped my life in ways that I'm only just beginning to fully appreciate. Yeah, I'm reminded of my mortality. But, really - have you seen my picture? Read any of my blog posts? Do I look/act 40? My grandma listened to Phish and the Dead and was taking trips to Hawaii in her 80's. 40 is a number. It's as relevant to me as my hair and eye color. Still, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit reflective this week. Mortality's been on my mind.

So over the course of my 40th year, I'm going to be working off my 40/40 List. 40 things that I want to have accomplished by the time I hit 41. Nothing grandiose - I will not be attempting to scale The Nose on El Capitan. I won't go skydiving. Fuck that. I want to live a long life, one that doesn't end with me plummeting through the roof of a barn tugging desperately at a nonfunctioning ripcord, and I want to stuff that life full of things. Just things. For instance, I've never eaten steak tartare. Or walked the length of the Golden Gate Bridge. I've never played golf. That seems odd - I'll watch Tiger Woods whenever he's on TV, but I've never played a round of golf. I haven't read War and Peace. Or watched an entire episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I've never surfed at night. I would be remiss if I didn't mention that a while back Beth and I had an argument about whether or not it's possible for an Average Joe to make honest-to-God cheese at home; thus, cheese-making is on the list. I've never had really, really expensive  - you know, like $120 a shot - tequila. Ok, that seems kind of stupid. But still. Can you imagine being on your deathbed and thinking, damn, you know what would have been nice? That $120 shot of tequila. I'll do that one last.