Something’s been bothering me, O Internets, and I choose now to vent my spleen. What prompted the venting was a post by one of my favorite bloggers - there is a happy ending, and I will get to it shortly.
But first: there has been talk about general crankiness in the Blogosphere (or at least the the Blogosphere street on which I dwell, Upper Middle Class White People With Kids Lane). People are pretty solemn; posts about the trollery have been delivered with same gravitas used by Alec Guinness when describing the destruction of Alderaan in Episode IV – “as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced”. It’s Serious Stuff, folks. I tried to avoid it, but I found myself reading a whole bunch of comments on a whole bunch of blogs and it pretty much sucked the life out of me.
The thing with assholish (Webster’s definition: “of or like an asshole, see also ‘assholey’”) comments is not that they’re offensive, or disturbing, or cruel, or chickenshit. As a reader and a writer, what bothers me about assholey (“see also ‘assholish’”) comments is that they’re boring. I have and will continue to boot trolls off of my sites, not because I’m pissed off at what they say, but because there’s nothing quite as soporific as reading some of the virtual shadowboxing matches that pass for the Comments sections of many blogs. And I’ll say this. Almost as boring? Bloggers that decide to wade into the fray by doing a post about a bitch-slap session that’s happening on another blog. There’s better ways to draw traffic to your sites, folks; start by being original, and since I’m teetering on the brink of Bandwagon Gorge, I’ll step back from the edge.
Yeah, there’s a lot of that about, and I got all mopey thinking about it. Why bother reading – hell, why bother writing - this shit? (Yeah, the existential problems we face here on Upper Middle Class White People With Kids Lane – it’s a tough ol’ world.) Leave it to Mimi Smartypants to provide the answer.
"I don't want catastrophe to befall me, I would never manufacture drama just for the sake of a silly little web diary, and my favorite online writing is that of regular joes and janes who break open their mundane moments like piñatas and let all the cool shit spill out into our laps. Using the Internet as their baseball bat, I suppose, if I take my tossed-off analogy to its limit."
Words to live by, Internets.