What We Have Here...Is A Failure To Communicate

The little man would not go to sleep last night. We suspected that something might be amiss when he started shrieking "MOMMMMMMMY!!! MOMMMMY!!!" at the top of his lungs and pounding his fist on his cribside wall.

We're in a new phase of his vocal development; he talks, a lot, but he chooses to speak Ewok rathar than English. Lots of words like "Bab" and "Yub nub" with the occasional "Daddeeeeee" and "Mommeeeeee" thrown in. (Those of you with toddlers, pop in a copy of "Jedi" and I swear to God your kid will walk up to the screen and have a fucking conversation with Wicket and his cute furry Imperial Stormtrooper-killing friends.) This is cute, but problematic, especially when it's 11:00 at night and your kid can't find the words to tell you why he's so upset, and gets even more pissed off that you can't figure it out for yourselves. "MOMMMMMMY!" is his generic cry for "I need help/give me that thing that I am not supposed to have" (he says "MOMMMMMY!" to both Beth and I, which is wreaking havoc on my already fragile male ego).

So we tried everything - including having him sleep with us (this resulted in him walking around the bed in a punch-drunk manner and making various attempts to sit on my head). The diagnosis: overtired. He only took a short nap at daycare, and was running on pure adrenaline. So back to the crib, where he wailed himself to sleep. Sometimes that's all you can do - let 'em cry it out.

That little adventure lasted until Really Damn Late O'Clock, which made it that much harder for me to drag my ass out of bed at 5:30 this morning. Tired, yes, but purpose-driven...The Swell! The much-ballyhooed Swell Of 2005 was here! I had psyched myself up for big waves, and by God I was going to hit it and hit it hard. Everything into the truck and out the door at 6:30.

Shoulda stayed in bed. Home Break - flat; the swell direction was wrong for the lay of the beach. Drove up to Del Mar - one peak between one hundred guys. And at 7:00, it was too late to try any place else. So I drove home, thinking in the voice of Inigo Montoya that the guys at Surfline keep using the word "swell" - I do not think it means what they think it means.